I've failed three projects in the last three months, where all of which I had a goal that was either given to me (comissioned) or where I was trying to fit my lopsided and lacking skill into someone's "box". I've been living in a negative atmosphere for much too long. Here are the basics: there is drama at work, and it takes me a good hour to unwind after, and where I now live there is little lost love between me and the renters upstairs. I mention this to help shed light on how important this small new occurrence is.

I am in the midst of a new project, where I am working alongside my brother. He has been laid off from work for the past couple months, and unlike me, finds himself driven to create. I feel best and succeed in my vision when I create on a whim, on inspiration. We've done two woodworking projects together, this is the third. We are working on three Crokinole game boards. The more I use saws and power tools the more they scare me, and Chris knows this. He also knows that completing something I'm proud of is vital to keep my spirits up. Don't ask him this, he won't admit how sensitive he is to moods of those around him. Anyway, he asked if I could design two stencils for the boards. I've finished a simple two layer, and it feels like a step back in some ways, but seeing something finally work out is calming and reassuring. I can picture something in my head, and have it work out. again. finally.

I need output that I am proud of, and I'm finding it working in a medium a large step outside of my comfort zone, with someone I've grown up with but just started to get to know in these last two years.